Quickie

Not that kind, sorry. This is just a quick post before I get to work on the BBQ. My guests will arrive and I will still be sitting here with all of you. It has come to mind that blogging and commenting is the new way like minded people get together. By like minded, I mean those who need to talk, write, recite, paint pictures etc. You know, creative people. Down through the ages artists and writers went to cafe's and bars to meet with friends and chat about all life's issues. Hemmingway went to his bar in Key West, got stinking drunk, fought with everybody and went home and wrote beautiful stories. Van Gogh, sat in a cafe in Arles everyday, drank cheap wine, annoyed everyone around him, went home and painted masterpieces. Many many more would (and still do) eat, talk, laugh, drink, fight, make love and go home and write. Here in Bloggland, some of us are good writers, others not so good, but we all have something to say and we are all listening. We don't all agree but that is as it should be. We could never learn if we agreed on everything. Books wouldn't be written, articles wouldn't be published, poems wouldn't be recited and pictures wouldn't be painted. Either way, blogging is the new way to reach out to others. All I can say is for me, it is emotionally uplifting and that's probably why I am so addicted to this new communication and learning tool. I love blogging, but I need to learn more about this medium. Good blogging and good reading to one and all!

Cable Down!

I am orchestrating a big B.B.Q tomorrow night so I have been out shopping all day. When I got home, I didn't even put the groceries away. I needed to get to my computer to find out what was happening in Bloggland. My cable was down! Oh, my God! What to do? I called the cable company and they said the whole area is out so I can't even go to the library for the next 17 hours. Think Maddy, Yes! AOL! and my laptop! Thank the Lord for AOL. It's a good thing I went to the trouble of finding a telephone cord, plugging in my laptop and calling up Bloggland because while I was busy getting a life, everyone had lots to say and needed my comments on just about everything. I feel great! And now I can go put away my groceries and plan the B.B.Q. Maybe I'll just take one more look at all the blogs before I put the groceries away. It'll only take a minute.

Nothing New Under the Sun

A fellow Blogger AJ, "All Your Bloggs Are Belong To Us" posted a story about an old friend whose wife took him away from all his buddies and kept him for herself. Why do some marriages end up that way? The answer to that question lies within both the man and woman. The signs of a person's weaknesses are always there for us to read. The trouble is, most of us can't read the signs, especially when we are young. For example, moodiness to the young doesn't mean that this person has a potential mental health issue down the road, it means that he is an angry young man with a problem with society. And what can be more sexy than an angry young man? Books and screen plays are written about this human frailty.
How many times have we all said, I'm not surprised ... ran away, went to jail, committed suicide, got divorced etc. etc. He was always depressive, unhappy, angry, rude, etc, etc. We just don't look for the signs, and when we do see them we can't read them. When we manage to read them, it's too late. AJ's friend knew his future wife was reclusive. The signs were in her personality long before their marriage. Then again, AJ's friend himself, needed what this woman provided during their dating, and whatever her behavior was, he found it attractive. If we look at our own relationships we would see many instances where the ability to sign read would have saved us a lot of heartache. That doesn't mean that we would or should dissolve the relationship. We would be more likely to go into the relationship with our eyes open and better equipped to deal with issues head on should any arise. And arise they will sooner or later. It could be immediate, 5 years down the road or 35 years. Heaven help us all preserve our patience, sense of humor and personal integrity. Here's to Psychoanalysis!

Street Legal Part II

A few years ago, we received a phone call from my brother-in-law. He told us that his daughter Sally had just left the house and was on her way to the big city. She was hitchhiking with a friend and expected to be in the city in about 3 days. She promised to keep in tough with her parents and call us when she arrived. Her plan was to live like a street person and see what life was all about. Her father asked us to be supportive if possible, but try not to get too close as that would probably push her away from the family. We said we would do our best and she was welcome in our home.
Sally did call her parents from time to time so they knew that she was alive. We didn't hear from her for about 3 weeks. One morning, very early, maybe about 6 am, we received a call from her. She needed help. She was hungry and needed food. Would we please buy food for her and the people she was living with? And oh yes, include some milk and baby food in the order as there was a small baby living there and she wanted to do something for him. Sally gave us an address and said the door would be open so we could go right in. I asked her what she wanted and she said regular nutritious food, things like toothpaste, toilet paper etc. and a box of Count Chocula, and maybe some chocolate as it has been a long time since she tasted any of these favorites. She then hung up the phone.
Naturally, we were concerned about her health. What was one to do? We called Sally's parents. Sally's mother was not the kind of mother most of us would have like to have, but she loved her children and never abused them physically. Mentally, now that could be debatable. Sally's father always tried to do the right thing, but he himself needed to be taken care of. That's not a bad thing, many men are like that and their women do look after them. These two were both needy so it was not a good situation for a stable marriage and raising kids. I digress. Sally's father said that we shouldn't believe her and we shouldn't buy the groceries. Maybe give her $20.00 but that's all. I found that to be somewhat cold hearted, and I rejected his counsel. So I went shopping with my daughter who was about 14 at the time. It was an interesting experience. My daughter wanted to purchase all kinds of sugary cereals as they were "nutritious" as well as tasty. Lots of chocolate, cheese, fruit, some vegetables, and toiletries. When we were finished we had spent close to $300.00.
We transported all this food to an address in a seedy part of the city. Indeed the door was open. A long set of stairs immediately went up to an apartment. The smell was atrocious and got worse as we made our way up the stairs. We didn't want to believe that Sally was really living there but she was of course. There is no need to paint a picture of what we found, you can imagine it and it would be correct. What we did find were 2 huge Dobermans, very scary but they didn't hurt us, a tiny kitchen, very dirty, dirty baby bottles, everything dirty dirty dirty. I won't discuss the bathroom. One bedroomn with piles of clothes and sleeping bags covering the floor. It seemed like about 10 people all slept there together. We quickly put the food away and left. The smell clung to our clothes and made our eyes water. Looking back, all I can say is I am glad my daughter accompanied me. She saw a side of life that she would remember for a long time. She would need that picture in her mind for later years, when her own behavior became unruly. Thank you for reading and I will tell more of this unfortunate story later.

Bloggs Everywhere!

This is an aside to my continuing story. There are just too many bloggings to read! I have been reading everyone and just can't keep up. So many great ones I'd like to keep in my favs, but no room and no time! I would be here all day every day but life rudely intrudes and must be answered. You are all great! I have to start imposing time limits on myself. "Maddy, you are allowed 2 hours a day to read and post". "No, I need more!" "You are allowed 2.5 hours a day". "No! More! More!" "You are allowed 3 hours a day" "No!..
Love to all! Lets go blogging!!

Street Legal

Around April of every year, we have an influx of "homeless people" (hp's)in our city. These people, usually very young, but sometimes in their late 20's and early 30's, arrive in from all over the country.
Each year there will be some political fallout regarding hp's. One year it was "squeegy kids", the next is was hp's protesting on our official government facilities and the scandalous breakup of the protest. Another year it was the building of a shantytown on private but unused lands within the city. Last year it was what to do about the escalating panhandling and lay-abouts on the sidewalks. It's still too soon to tell what this year's influx will bring. The people who come into the city are added to the hp's currently existing here over the winter, so you can picture what our sidewalks are like all summer. During the winter, you don't really see anyone. Well, maybe one or two in a covered spot over a warm air vent. But for the most part, they all disappear until the warm winds of April arrive.
If you are under 30, and should you decided to come to the city and live on the street for a few months, you would find it quite a welcoming, warm and very exciting experience. For a while.
Here is a hypothetical story, Sally, a 16 year old from a small town out west decides that she has had enough of her parents for one reason or another. Sally has a little money saved and buys a Greyhound bus ticket to the city. When she arrives, she is greeted by a member of the police force or social services. There is someone always there waiting for the buses everyday. This authority figure will then take aside any youths who disembark. They will attempt to determine their ages. If Sally is under 16, she will be returned to her parents as quickly as possible. If Sally is over 16, she will be told that the city is not a good place to be and is advised to get back on the bus and go home. Sally is very brave and declines to heed their advice. Sally is then given information on shelters, support groups, free medical clinics, and other helping hands. Little Sally sallies forth on her adventure into a city of 2 million people, hot summer nights, and fun camping out in parks with new friends. Of course if Sally hitchhikes into town or comes in on a plane, she will not have access to all this help and will have to wing it on her own. Oh yes, also waiting for Sally at the bus stop may be a 1 or 2 nice looking guys who will kindly offer to take Sally under their wings and safely show her around town. Many kids under 16 manage to evade the authorities at the bus depot and these kids are especially vulnerable to pimps and other troubles on the street.
I will write more about Sally and her friends later. I know Sally very well, because I spent a lot of time with her one summer. She is a relative of mine. Right now I need to tear myself away from blogging and go to work.

Gestalt Therapy

It's no use. Once a blogger, always a blogger. Even if I went to Bloggers Anonymous I could'nt overcome this addiction. I overcame cigarettes, I overcame biting my nails, I overcame eating too much in one sitting. I haven't quite overcome wine, and I doubt I will overcome blogging. I think about it all the time. Today I was chairing a meeting and what was I thinking? I wonder what Vgrrl is doing?, Where is Kevin? What happened to Osama? Leese has a good blog, I must read her archives. AJ's story was so good. Is Pastor Sam doing alright? Who is the Grave Digger and how eloquently he writes! How am I going to read and post comments when I have only a couple of hours? Should I set my alarm for 4:30 am and start then? Will anyone read my blogg? Will I have time to read all my favs before my husband comes home?
I am taking a course tomorrow and I know I will go into the library at lunch and log on. Wednesday I am going to the theatre to see "Guys and Dolls" I hope I will concentrate and act like I am really there. Thursday I need to take an online course and Friday I need to take care of my business. Mien Gott! When will I have time to blogg! What is this world coming to?
The comments I personally received from "out there" have been very uplifting and sincere. How can one give it up? I can't. Maybe this is what my husband gets from strippers. Well, maybe uplifting but surely not sincerity. Anyway, this gets better and better. What I find phenomenal is how comments become commentary. Everyone starts responding to each others comments and the catalyst is the original blog. The conversations have been quie stimulating. Some day, when I have an evening alone, I will pour myself a glass of my fav red, make up a lovely cheese plate,and sit down to talk to all my friends. Anyone out there want to start a sort of reading club? We all read a book, pour wine, and start discussing. You never know where the conversation will go among friends.

Life as Hell

I haven't posted for awhile as I didn't have anything to say without revealing too much. My husband and I went to dinner with very good friends last night. I don't know whether it was the wine, my mood, or what, but all I thought about was getting back to my computer to read my favourite bloggs! And maybe write something. I've got to get a life here! The only person who knows I do this is my sister. I don't know what would transpire if my family found out. Especially my husband. Nothing probably. I tried to view OSAMA's site, today (its 5 am. here) but it has gone. He was a very good blogger. Do you suppose Osama is no more? Hopefully he will reincarnate as himself so we can enjoy his unique sense of humor.
I have had a lot of "family" problems for quite a few years now, and blogging seems to help ease the stress. My son was and continues to be very sick, so I have had to be emotionally and physically strong. This of course affected my daughter who went through a rough time too. However, she is growing up and will be o.k. At least she doesn't hate me anymore. It's true when they say that many marriages disintegrate when a child dies or bad things happen to them. One would think that people cling to each other, but in fact, they don't. They actually fly apart. While I was working hard to bring my son back from the brink of insanity, deal with my daughter's bad behavior etc. my husband took up with strippers in a very big way. Thats what ultimately brought me to TG's Place and I have never looked back. It has been said that God never gives you more than you can handle. I think God is a trickster, he gives you everything you want but just not in the way you want it. I think "He" says "You will have what you want..but along with that, comes this...", and you don't get a chance to say "No thanks, buddy, I've changed my mind". And deal you must. Some people can, and some can't. Life sucks sometimes but as the Grave Digger says, Death is silence forever (paraphrased). So we better make the best of it because that's all there is folks. Enough of this drivel! We are planning a trip to California, where I have never been so I am really happy about that. We are renting a convertible and driving from LA to SF. with stops along the way. I hear the coastal highway scenery is astounding. Assuming we survive driving the long and winding road on the side of a steep mountain, I am looking forward to that trip. It can't be worse than the "Road to Hana" which is also beauteous, but dangerous. See? There are two sides to everything. After seeing Pastor Sam's photo, I want to go to the Grand Canyon too. I hear that it is a very spiritual place. I could use some downhome spiritualism right about now. Good blogging to you all!

Blog Mad!

I have stayed away from posting for a while because I am becoming obsessed with it. I thought that if I quit for a while, I would return to normal. But no, not to be. Once a blogger, always a blogger. Also, I didn't think I had anything to say. The truth is I am afraid I might reveal too much to people who have become "friends". I started feeling a real affection for my fellow bloggers. One has to be careful here! Even tho' I didn't post, I kept reading others postings and I made comments here and there, so I guess I didn't really stay away. This whole thing is like some fantasy secret life, but it's very real. There should be a Blogger's Convention in a year's time just so everyone can meet each other. I have a feeling it would be like High School reunions, but better. This is all for tonight but more to follow regarding whats on Maddy's mind.
P.S. Thank you AJ.

Casual Conversation

I golfed again today with my usual group. Along with attempting to smack that silly little white ball less than 8 times per hole, we talked about politics and sex. I think a little religion was discussed as well. Talk about the three taboo subjects among friends!
Our political discussion was dispatched forthwith. "Who are you going to vote for in the coming election?" Done.
However, our sex talk lasted at least 2 of the 4 hours of playing time. Jean started it. Not me. She said, "I watched "Sex with Sue" last night and you will never guess what she told me".
"What? Jean," we say. - How to make love if you are a lesbian.
It seems that a caller was a "new" lesbian and needed to know what to do with her girlfriend. Sue told her in exquisite detail. So now we all know. Jean said she called her husband in to listen and maybe take notes.
There is another show on lately from England. It's a reality show with young couples trying out different kinds of sex, sex toys and letting us all know what they liked or didn't like. (I happened on the channel while happily clicking away if you must know) I couldn't believe that anyone would have the nerve to do and say these things in front of a worldwide audience. But I guess it amounts to that 15 minutes of fame, or something like that. This is where the religious discussion came in. Betty, a churchgoer says, "That's disgusting and these people have no morals, why can't people stick with what God gave us?" "Because they are bored with Godgiven talents and girls just want to have fun, Betty." End of religious discussion. Betty as it turns out, has an extended family rife with lesbians and gays, but heck, its the 21'st century and we are all God's children.
Back to Sue - I have learned a lot from Sue's sex shows, as has everyone in North America, allowed to stay up past 10 p.m Sunday nights. This is what I have learned:
1. Where it was once pretty much exclusively men who were able to separate love and sex, now this attitude includes women. I don't know whether this is good or bad, but for some reason, it doesn't sit right with me. Something to do with denying genetics maybe.
2. Everyone wants to have great sex and most people are too shy to express their desires, let alone how to go about getting great sex. It has always been this way, but now we have Sue to teach us all about how to get and give great sex.
3. All men would be willing to try anything with their partner (or someone else). Many more women fall in this category now as well. Don't you think that if all of humanity practised this, society would degenerate rather quickly? Where would we all be? Bonking each other on the head with clubs maybe.
4. Culturally, we are accepting the casualness of sex to such an extent that love doesn't really enter the equation anymore. I wonder if love is doomed?
5. Where will it all end? Don't get me wrong, I'm all for great sex between consenting and loving adults but where will it all end?
Remember that old movie "Logan's Run"? You could call up any kind of plaything you liked by just using a clicker like your t.v. remote. Very cool in the '70's. Maybe that capability is approaching. Not so cool. Or maybe...

Genetics

I've been thinking about kids lately. No, not having one - but what makes them tick.
When one makes the decision to have a child, the crapshoot begins. You never know what kind of child you are going to get. Yes, mom-to-be can, and should take very good care of herself while she is pregnant, but unless she does some serious damage, the baby's genetic makeup will determine outcomes more so than enviornment. I'm talking generally here, not extreme life situations.
What makes one child in a family survive adversity and another from the same family not survive? Genetics. How that child's brain is wired will determine how they will handle both life's trials and joys. Eveyone is very pleased when a child arrives and resembles a loved one in the family. That makes for bonding and all kinds of other loving family interactions. But what happens if your child inherits a dispositon like your dreaded Aunt Bertha? What do you do then, and can you do anything about this unfortunate situation? Yes, and no. More on that later...
A friend of mine, Beth, has a "bubbly" personality. Always did, always will. Beth said herself she has always had very high self esteem. She can't imagine anything else. Not everything in her life has been great, but she can dodge life's arrows better than most people. Her brain must be wired that way. I think that her Seratonin levels are higher than normal, thus she can't be depressed. I don't think that she can even maintain melancholy for more than an hour. Lucky, lucky woman!

Golfing with Maddness

On Monday morning, I golfed with three ladies who are all about my calibre. Not too good. This group likes to talk more than golf. One of the women Lyn, has a daughter who is Bi-Polar with schizoaffective tendencies. Lyn has been taking care of her daughter for many years and is worn out. It shows on her face. Lyn also volunteers at our city's major mental health facility. Lately Laci, the daugher, has had a set back and her meds have been changed. She has gained a lot of weight because of the meds. Now Laci is feeling bad, heavily medicated and has lost her good looks, self esteem and confidence. Where the hell is God?